28 July 2011

July 28, 2011

One day, I think, everything will calm down.

Sometimes I have to stop and remember all the things I’m worried about, keep them in order, prioritize them. I say to myself, “wait, wait, wait,” and I bring them all back to mind. I never thought I would be a worrier like this. It’s terrible. I don’t write the worries down though, so in a way it’s like they don’t exist.

It’s all little things, though. Little tiny things. Anyone with real problems would ask how I’m so carefree.

That’s what I like about playing frisbee. I like doing something that demands all my attention at once. It’s the most relaxing thing I do all week.

I went to Oregon for work. I could write a whole essay about it, about just those two days. On the way back, the woman next to me said her nose had just started running for some reason, the moment we crossed over into Texas. I said, That’s weird, Mine too.

That morning Joel and I drank coffee out of dixie cups. I went to bed with a headache and I didn’t know if it was lack of coffee or lack of water.

In Varieties of Religious Experience, William James wonders if it would make sense for there to be as many religions as there are temperaments. I think what he’s saying is that all we’re ever really doing is interpreting. If all of life is a rorschach test, then religion says more about us than it says about God.

I’m not sure what I’m saying today. It’s been one of those days when I’m not sure what I’m saying.

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