31 May 2011

May 31, 2011

We have to have boundaries. Boundaries are what make us good people: when we can say, This but not that.

To be good we have to be able to say no.

Of course, sometimes saying no can cost you your job. So it’s kind of a judgment call in those situations.

I wrote something for a client today that I fundamentally disagreed with. Something I would never support with my own money. Something I would argue against, given the chance. The whole time I was writing it, I kept trying to convince myself that this client doesn’t do anything wrong, has good intentions, is very nice, presentable, etc. I kept trying to make myself feel better.

Anyways, I kept my job. etc. etc.

I found a book at half price books this weekend that I’ve been trying to find for about a year. They didn’t even have it at Powells. I stared at it for a few seconds before it registered, before it clicked, before I slowly pulled it off the shelf and squeezed its pages between my hands.

It’s called Halls of Fame by John D’Agata. It’s a book of lyric essays. I don’t like the cover though. I really don’t like the cover.

But none of this has anything to do with the fact that I sold out today.

Selling out has a frightening finality to it. I can’t think of anyone who has ever “un-sold out”. It seems like a one-time thing, like one decision you make and then suddenly everything is different, suddenly you’re U2 selling ipods.

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