19 April 2011

April 19, 2011

I’m thinking of mapping my whole life. Drawing it out like blue prints. My whole world from the top down: This is my apartment, this is my desk, this is my car, this is my city. I think there’s something to be said for having a sense of place, for being where you are.

I think there’s something to be said for short sentences.

What if I were more interested in the things I do and experience than the things I believe? What if apologetics put me to sleep? What if I didn’t want to argue anymore?

And really, I would rather be happy than productive.

I look at everything in my life and think: could I be happy without this? And the answer is usually yes. Usually I just have to figure out some way of thinking about my life that doesn’t involve that certain thing. I become the Guy Without That Thing, and it’s almost like this new identity, and i love it, not for what it is, but for its newness, the way I wear a new jacket and look at myself in the mirror and imagine meeting important people.

Most of my life is a question of identity. I’m constantly learning how to think of myself.

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