15 April 2011

April 15, 2011

Sometimes you come back to an album and realize you’ve missed it like a person or something. It feels familiar and friendly and you’re both like, Hey, yeah, remember that time…

Every time someone turns on the radio I feel like I’m in high school. I swear it’s the exact same songs still.

You wake up to a storm, something like hail pounding the windows (sometimes rain sounds like this, you can’t remember the difference exactly, between the sound of rain and the sound of hail), and you wonder sort of hazily what would happen if the windows broke, you wonder if they are double paned (didn’t they say something like in the lease? In the walk through?) and you wonder what exactly your renter’s insurance covers. Would they shatter or just crack? Would your school papers get sucked out the window like a high-altitude airplane?

My friend told me he’d been a vegan for 15 days now. I said, That’s funny, I gave up being a vegetarian last week.

Now I’m trying to forget all those reasons I had for not eating meat (there are a lot of them). This is why you should never talk about the things you’re doing. When someone says, “What’s new?” your answer should always be, “Same old, same old.” or, “Oh, you know, nothing much,” While you change your life privately.

It’s ridiculous how much of everything is subjective. We think there’s some form of Good out there (aesthetic, not moral. But maybe moral. I don’t know) and we’re trying to match that with the stuff we make, comparing it. We wonder if it’s “right”, as if the thing we’re making has already been made and now we’re just trying to match it perfectly. It’s sort of platonic I guess, sort of neo-classical in ways.

I’m reading a book that’s ridiculously long. It’s sort of relaxing. I feel like I can settle in. When you’re reading essays or short stories it’s like you’re constantly meeting all these new people, trying to decide if you like them or not, trying to decide if you’re interested. You have to keep buying in, over and over again. It gets sort of exhausting.

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