24 March 2011

March 24, 2011

I used to think I was an adventurous sort of guy. I traveled a little, lived on a boat, lived in a village, whatever. It was pretty fun, good memories, but it never really felt like me. I never really felt like, Yes, This is where I belong. I was always ever out of place. And I think I only ever wanted to be adventurous. When it actually came down to it, I was happiest sitting on a porch reading. If I was sitting there reading with a cup of coffee, I would never need another thing in the world.

I say that because I’ve been thinking about security and how I could very easily be that guy who holds onto something until there’s nothing left at all. There’s always the fear that things could be a little bit worse. When you have something that’s pretty freaking great, it feels selfish to go looking for perfect, so that’s where you end up living.

What I’m saying is that I’m still not adventurous, but I still want to be.

I’ve never been all that interested in money. That’s not to say I’m not greedy; I’m just greedy about other things.

It’s a terrible way to live, to let things you don’t care about become things you live for. To become an expert at things you despise. To spend most of your life making the most.

We’re all too young for that. We’re all too talented for that. We’re all too pure of heart.

It just takes the doing. It takes getting by on like zero money for awhile because you’re chasing after something you really want to do, you’re making things you really want to make. It takes working retail and programming drum beats at midnight. I’m not saying you take the leap and there’s your dream life waiting there for you. I’m saying you take the leap and who the hell knows.


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