8 Feb 2011

February 8, 2011

Sometimes reviews can absolutely ruin things. You get someone else’s ideas stuck in your head and you can’t get them out, you see everything through that lens. And yet I continue to read reviews all the time. I don’t want to waste time.

I’ve been saying this thing about education, about how it doesn’t teach people to love things; it teaches them to take things apart. You pick up a copy of Catcher in the Rye, mangled by a high-schooler’s bright pink highlighter. A frog cut open by a 9th grader’s scalpel. That’s what I’m talking about. Plenty of people would disagree, I’m sure.

I’m reading about the origins of gender, where the idea of men and women came from. It wasn’t always such a clear cut thing. For a long time people thought women were just inside out men.

Also, The idea of someone’s thoughts being valid enough to journal about is a recent thing too. Not long ago people were part of families, tribes.  People were buried in family tombs. Houses didn’t have hallways.

I keep trying to be political, to understand the issues, or more fundamentally, to care. I pretend I care sometimes, because I think I should, but mostly I don’t. The stuff in Egypt intrigues me though, for different reasons all together. It feels very human.

One time I interviewed for a job at an environmental advocacy agency. The guy had a little soul patch, a filthy office, a button down shirt. There were hand painted picket signs in the lobby of the office, I read them while I waited for him to get off a phone call, then I handed him my resume. He asked me why I thought I would be a valuable addition to their organization. I told him I didn’t even know what his organization did, what my job would be. I had found the job on craigstlist and the description was vague. He smiled and nodded, probably laughed a little because he was a charismatic guy, and then he told me my job would be to go around with him to neighborhoods, knock on doors, get petition signatures. I asked him why I would want to do that. He said because it was going to save the environment. I told him the truth was I wasn’t all that interested in saving the environment. If I wanted to save anything it was people. He said that saving the environment was the same as saving people, which was probably true, but the guy’s office was pretty disgusting and I didn’t want to be there anymore. I told him the job sounded miserable and I’d pass thanks. He tossed my resume in the trash when I got up to leave, thanked me for coming in.

What I’m saying is that I have a hard time connecting things back to people. It all just seems like paper work most of the time, and I get bored easily. I really do.

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