September 9, 2009

I don’t think anyone feels like they deserve love.  I decided this while watching a friend cry at her birthday party, when everyone was telling her how great she is and why they love her so much.  No one was surprised that an outpouring of love was met by an outpouring of tears -as if her body had to make room for love by expelling sorrow.  It was…expected.  Because we cry when we are given things we don’t deserve.

The ironic thing is that we put more effort into procuring love than anything else.  We all homogenize, at least a bit, to fit in, and we fit in to feel accepted, and we like feeling accepted because acceptance is a form of love. And love is what we’re after.  We grind away at work because feeling successful in the office is a powerful form of acceptance, and as you know from the previous sentence, acceptance is a form of love.  The point is that we all work really hard to be loved, yet when we finally experience love, when all our hard work and effort finally pays off, we are immediately aware that we don’t deserve any of it.

So this makes me wonder about the rationality of spending so much time trying to be loved.  I mean, if, in the end, I’m going to realize that I don’t deserve love anyways, but for some reason I’ve been given it by these strange humans around me, then maybe I could save a lot of time by skipping the part where I try to deserve it.  And then maybe I could take all that saved time and energy and use it to love other people.  Then maybe they would come to this realization too, and they would stop trying to be loved and, instead, start loving other people.  And on and on this would go until everyone knew they were loved.

Sometimes people treat love like money, like it’s value is in it’s rarity.  I think they are afraid that if the market were to saturate, then the little bits they’ve managed to collect would loose their value.  But I don’t think love is like money at all, I think love is like popcorn – the more the better.  And the funny thing is that, the more we love other people, the easier it is to accept that other people love us in return –as undeserving as we are.  And when we start focusing on loving other people it starts to matter less when people think we are less-than-stellar homosapiens.  And that’s honestly quite a relief.


One Response to “Popcorn”

  1. Josh R Says:

    Great post Mike! The best way to gain some sort of perspective or understanding love is to give it. And the more we give the more we will understand, and the more we understand love the better we will be at receiving love.

    as molly would say

    love wins

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