Dear Dixie

January 15, 2009

Sent to the Georgia-Pacific (dixie’s parent company) compaint department:

Dear Dixie,

            I have been a fan of yours for some time now, especially your tiny cup developments which are oh so handy in more ways than have yet to be revealed.  However, I must tell you I found myself extremely agitated by one of your products today: the TM517, medium/heavy teaspoons.  The product you thought we’d all over look, or hoped we wouldn’t notice its subtle design flaw.  But Dixie, I noticed, today I noticed.

            The TM517 is cut ever-so-slightly too deep resulting in an unreachable area of, in my case, strawberry-kiwi yogurt.  This is no good, Dixie.  Infact my entire yogurt eating experience was thrown off by the use of the TM517 and subsequently the past 15 minutes of my work day have been spent drafting this complaint to you.  I request a better spoon be developed, possibly under my supervision, and also I be compensated $3.25 for my time.

     Again, if you weren’t such a forward thinking and innovative company I wouldn’t feel the need to bring this to your attention.  Thank you.

 

Sincerely,

Mike

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8 Responses to “Dear Dixie”

  1. moosetraks Says:

    This post made me laugh really hard! And though I do not use the Dixie TM517 plastic spoons, the spoons I do use similarly ruin my yogurt eating experience. Yogurt is one of my favorite foods, a food I eat everyday, and thanks to those spoons it is extremely difficult to eat. They make the things so darn deep! It frustrates me everyday during me extremely short and rather annoying, and lately painful lunch. I just thought you should know I feel your frustration of these unusually deep spoons and thoroughly enjoyed this post.

  2. frazyah Says:

    Ah, see, using factory made spoons is your great folly in the consumption of yogurts. i find that chopsticks are much better for reaching those hard to reach nooks and crannies.

  3. missynagel Says:

    Michael Nagel! Did you really send this? I love it… I wonder if they’ll pay.

  4. gregroy Says:

    i don’t know who makes the ones at wendy’s, but its the same issue. for years i have enjoyed the delicious wendy’s chocolate frosty only to have the experience stifled by the inexcusable depth of the spoons. I would be willing to bet that wendy’s frostys are the pinnacle of frozen deserts and the company developed the overly-deep spoons to give the competition a chance. in fact i have to believe that in order to get over the enormously deep spoons. Thank you so much for having the testicular fortitude to stand up to this plastic abomination.

  5. gregroy Says:

    cavernous is also a word i would use.

  6. layne hilyer Says:

    Dude, agreed.

    And, I’m glad you finished “Pilgrim at Tinker Creek” now I must push forward…8 months in…and 100 pages…I’m doing good.

  7. Courtney Says:

    And now I know that you actually did send this and thus, you’re kind of my hero.

  8. Joel Says:

    I feel obliged to be a smart ass and point out that there is something “don’t glean to the corners of the field” about your experience. Seriously, this is a principle I’ve been thinking about a lot the last few years; it’s sort of a spatial expression of Sabbath.

    I admire your effort and this is nicely done. And it reminds me of the work of Lazlo Toth (sigh, you kids probably have no idea who Father Guido Sarducci is). I have this particular book, should you ever care to read it, yaknow, and pick up some pointers. Lazlo did get some replies, many of which are themselves priceless.


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