December 27, 2008

Sometimes when I’m driving home late at night I’ll turn off the music in my car and be surrounded by reality.  It’s a bit alarming how life feels when the background music shuts off and I’m suddenly transported from fiction to documentary.  Like the difference between film and video it seems.  I know that life is good when I enjoy the silence, often I’ll turn the music back on though.  And it’s not that life is bad or anything, life is actually quite amazing right now, but sometimes I’m scared to let life be what it is.  Life can be so frustratingly complicated sometimes ya know?  There’s just so much of it, so many different aspects and people, and if one part of it is bad it feels like everything else is falling apart too.  And I’m cursed with contemplation, over contemplation really, which is why I’m so thankful for the couple people in my life (one of whom I get to marry in 2 months) who ease my contemplative burden.

            I wonder how life is really meant to be lived.  Some people are so annoyingly happy that I can’t imagine happiness is the ultimate form of life.  When people go around smiling and saying “praise God” and “amen” all the time I get pretty annoyed, I don’t think God needs cheerleaders.  I knew a guy one time who would say praise God after everything, he used it like “um”, “The mashed potatoes are on the left, praise God!”, “After dinner we’re gonna go shoot some pigs, praise God!”; after awhile I didn’t want to have dinner with that guy anymore. 

            I think Paul was onto something with the fruits of the spirit thing: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Self-Control.  They are all very meek sounding, unassuming and quiet, and I like them.  I want them.  I stacked my life up against the fruits of the spirit today and realized I was lacking in the majority.  And I started wondering if that’s why I keep the music on while I’m driving, and I wonder what life would feel like if I could start growing in things like peace, and patience, and joy.  I think it’d feel pretty good.  So I think I’m gonna work on that for awhile.


One Response to “Title”

  1. Wyndi Says:

    wow Mike. You have a really good point. If we would all just strive for Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Self-Control instead of being “Cheerleaders” for God, I think that God would be more pleased with us all and we would all be doing what God calls us to do.

    Thanks for sharing!

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