Love…?

October 28, 2008

I used to think love existed.  Everyone was trying to get it or fall into it or run away from it; like it was real, like it could be known or owned like a product.  Love was “out there” to be found, neatly packaged with ribbons probably.  This sounds like one of those things a pastor would blame Hollywood for: making pre-marital sex seem cool and for giving us false ideas about love.

            But here’s what I think: love doesn’t exists in the way I thought it did.  It’s not handed down magically from above, all self-contained and whatnot.  Love feels more scattered than that to me, messy and human, as sweaty as it is beautiful. And we, as humans, are feeling blindly for its edges which perhaps don’t exist at all. 

            I really don’t think love can be known outside of a relationship, whether that be with God or another person.  And I think that’s what I mean when I say love doesn’t exist, because love itself exists in relation to people.  It isn’t some external idea that is brought into the relationship, but something born out of it.

            And I think that this is the reason that relationships give us so much trouble, because so many people go into them wanting the “relationship” or “husband” or “wife” or “Girlfriend” or “Boyfriend” or “love”.  We want an idea, an external idea.  But we are not made for ideas. We are made for flesh and breath, for grass and sunsets, for swings and evenings.  Our “ideas” will suffocate us in their non-existence.  Love is real, but only in relation to the people who create it, and maybe if we allow Love to be what it is rather than what we thought it was we would be surprised with the way that it can consume us and change us into the people we should be.

           

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6 Responses to “Love…?”

  1. Joel Says:

    This is lovely, bro. I disagree on one point: it “does fall magically from above.” It just does. I’ve seen it happen. It’s all grace. But grace is messy and sweaty and human and all that other stuff you say. And somehow it’s like all those other gifts: we get to receive or reject it; usually we do both, sometimes at once.

    That’s just my 3.7 cents.

  2. Molly Says:

    What about I John 4:8?

  3. Mike Says:

    I think the idea that “God is love” is amazing, and one of the reasons I have the word “love” on my wrist. If God really is love, it would make sense that our understanding of love is limited and fractured and learning. We are not handed the understanding of God the moment we choose to believe, chances are we will never understand. So, using the transitive property, the same is true about love.
    on that same note, i could be entirely wrong.

  4. missynagel Says:

    Mike! I have a blog!

  5. Julia Says:

    This is profound, I will be lingering on this for a while…. “maybe if we allow Love to be what it is rather than what we thought it was we would be surprised with the way that it can consume us and change us into the people we should be.”

  6. Josh Tilford Says:

    Right now, I have more genuine “love” relationships in my life than I have ever been aware of. Just a few select people that I am deeply in love with, and they love me. I asked myself recently, “Why them?” Some of it is family ties, but mostly I think, we just choose to live in love with one another. We’re not the prettiest, most perfect group, but the love is strong.

    “It isn’t some external idea that is brought into the relationship, but something born out of it.”
    Incredible insight man!


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