Mike's Blog

I’m finally finishing a book I started about a year ago Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. It’s incredibly boring and incredibly beautiful.  I had this book with me while I traveled last summer and spent many a morning turning its pages.  The book reads like a long letter, intricately describing the years the author spent exploring tinker creek.

            I’m gaining a new appreciation for boring things.  I listen to boring acoustic music in my car nowadays and enjoy boring books.  I drive a bit slower than I used to too.  I think I’m scared life is going to fly by. One day I’m going to wake up and be 30, then 40.  And I’m fine with that as long as I can remember how I got there.  I want to be like Emily Dickinson and roll the months into balls and keep them in a drawer.  I want to be like Henry Thoreau and suck the marrow from life.  I don’t mind getting old, I just want to be awake for the ride.

I drive to a coffee shop on the road that runs perpendicular to my college; it’s a bit out of the way but entirely worth it.  I have a “usual”, which is pretty exciting.  It’s easy to get a usual when it’s always a large bold coffee; easy to remember I guess.  Sometimes it’s waiting for me when I get to the counter, and they don’t even announce my total anymore.  The dangerous thing about “Usuals” is that there’s not a lot of room to move around.  Say one morning I’m feeling adventurous and want a large House coffee or, even more crazy, a latte.  Well forget having a usual now! Who knows what this guy is going to order next time he comes in!  That could take months to repair, so I stick with the large bold and save myself the trouble.

            I don’t like country music, but I might be getting dangerously close.  Doug Burr is probably the closest I will get before having to change some info on my myspace page, which I really don’t want to do.  While technically classified as “folk” Doug burr doesn’t like to draw inside the lines, and his latest cd “on Promenade” confirms my metaphor.  He’s admittedly twangy at moments, but Burr stretches his fingers into a wide variety of sounds and emotions that all feel very unpretentious and effortless; like these songs came straight from a tattered spiral bound in his guitar case, or he’s making them up on the spot.

            There is something very vulnerable about songwriters like this.  They do not hide behind vague imagery, catchy lyrics, or Gibson explorers; instead, they sit on stools and sing songs they mean.  They let their beards grow a little too long and play in coffee shops instead of stadiums.  I find that very comforting; I like the thought that I could be friends with the person who’s music I connect with.  There is only so much I can connect with “Sugar, We’re going down swinging”; and all that pop-rock stuff feels so safe to me. The difference between an auto-biography and a romance novel is one is made to sell and the other is made to communicate.  I like being communicated with, I like connecting, I like listening.

            I bet Doug Burr takes a lot of road trips and spends a lot of time barefoot.

            Sometimes I wonder if we try too hard.  If we go through life always striving to be better people, always pushing into new levels with God, always looking for the new “thing”; I wonder if we will get to the end and realize we kinda missed it.  That in our attempts to go to new depths with God, we missed out on where he had us at the time.  That while we were struggling to become better people we really became quite self-centered.

            I feel like life will never be enjoyed unless it can be enjoyed now.  I’ve found that desire very rarely leads to contentment and most often just leads to more desire.  And I don’t think enough is said for contentment these days, in both the secular and church worlds.  The secular world tells me I need to make more money, the church tells me I need to become a better person, both leave me unhappy where I am.  Both tell me I’m not good enough right now, but neither tell me when enough will be enough.

            I know there will be times when intense spiritual growth is meant to happen, when we are meant to struggle forward into new places with God; A desert if you will.  But I don’t think our lives are meant to be one desert after another. I think I remember Jesus saying something about the “burden being light”.  And I, personally, would like to live lightly.  I would like to enjoy my life, enjoy my relationship with God and be content with what I’ve been given; spiritually and materially.

            So how about a round of applause for contentment?  Here’s to being happy where I am at, and so thankful for everything I’ve been given.  Here’s to wearing flip flops on sunny days, and sometimes reading Emily Dickinson instead of the Bible.  Here’s to thanking God when I wake up and living in grace instead of burden.

Hear Hear.