5-15-1937

Walcott,

            You simpleton!  Your letter sat in a pile of unopened mail until the smell of rotting produce forced me to discover its contents.  I suppose you village folk are used to receiving vegetables in the mail, but I must request future letters be void of your rural gifts.

            I admit being more than a bit surprised to hear of a woman in your last letter- Kate was it?  My friend, are you maturing?  Perhaps it is time you came to the city and learned a true man’s work; I have just the place for you in my company.  Entry level of course, all commission naturally, but plenty of room to climb.

            I await your response.

 

-Mansferd

 

4-23-1937

 

My dear Friend and Confidant Mansferd:

            I was so pleased to receive your letter!  I had worried that you had forgotten me.  I do suppose your international affairs keep you quite busy.  Not to mention your domestic and extra-marital affairs.

            I am quite busy my self; what, with my garden to tend and my daily walk into town.  I do fear that my relationship with Kate has suffered for my business.  Perhaps I will stay home with her today to make amends.

            Also, I must apologize once more for the chocolate stains.  I promise this will be the last time.

 

Sincerely,

            Walcott

 

P.s. I’ve enclosed Radishes          

4-20-37

 

Walcott,

I trust this letter finds you fat and happy.  I would expect nothing less; you fat clown. Should we continue our correspondence I do hope you will consider drafting your letters at a time when your hands are not covered in powdered sugar and fudge, if such a time exists.

 

Sincerely,

            Mansferd.

Concert Yo

Ugly Tree

Wow.  I didn’t realize I had taken such a long break from the blog-o-sphere.  Life is good, i’m a little less angy than I was when I wrote that post back in Feburary; although still restless.  I’m trying to learn to be restless and passionate in a St. Francis of Assisi kind of way and less in a Rambo kind of way.

               Anyways, I wrote a bunch of songs while restling though some difficult ideas about the kingdom of God and compiled them into something of a short little album called “Ugly Tree”.  You can listen and download it from my music website: www.michaelnagel.bandcamp.com.  You can download if for free if you just put zero in the purchase amount, radiohead style.

               Hope everyone is well, lets be optimistic and assume this blog will become more active now.  Viva la Revolucion!

 

-Mike

Memo:

I am inclined to believe that God has some high hopes for those who choose to banner themselves with his name.  I say “hopes” but perhaps, more accurately, expectations.  If there is one thing that Jesus had no patience for it was half-assery, the luke-warm, the on-the-fence, the complacent, the ones who know the truth and are not set free. 

Get in or get out.

 

That seems to be the unflinching message of Jesus.  I believe this statement to be true: Jesus Hates Mediocrity.  And yet everywhere I go I find it in mass quantities; Christians with whose lives I am thoroughly unimpressed, stagnant, gross.

            I’m done.  It’s almost unbearable. But perhaps the problem is me, yes that is a very real possibility.  Because I don’t want to do one more bible study. I don’t want to sit in one more circle and talk about what a verse means to me. I don’t want to fill in one more blank. I don’t want to spend one more Sunday lunch talking about what a sermon meant to us.  We are not becoming better people, we are not building anything, we are stagnant, we are the complacent, we are the boring, yes- we are the white washed tombs.  Death looks like apathy, death sounds like sarcasm. 

            Give me real, don’t give me fake.

                        I want to build something.

                                    That is what I want:

                                                To build

                                                            Something.

            Because I think we are supposed to, I think we are put on this earth to build.  To build ourselves into something new, always new, always new. To be creative, to grow and stretch.  And I think that we are supposed to grow and stretch in significant ways, I don’t want one more person’s goal to be, “I really need to have a better impact on my unsaved friends”, have a better impact on me damn it, I need you.  I need you to be everything you are supposed to be, you’re cheating me, do you know? With every surface level conversation, with every church polished cliché about Jesus and God and “believers”, I don’t want to hear it.  I want you to swear because of fucking poverty, I want to feel things inside you, I want you to feel them for yourself, I want you to make me feel them too.  I want you to come alive, I want you to stop caring what I think; what do I know anyways?  Am I judging you? Absolutely I am.  I am judging you every moment you sit quiet, I am judging every sarcastic copout that comes out of your mouth, so you might as well say something good, you might was well piss me off with who you really are so that maybe you could change me.

            Please change me.  I’m begging you.  Really.

Dear Dixie

Sent to the Georgia-Pacific (dixie’s parent company) compaint department:

Dear Dixie,

            I have been a fan of yours for some time now, especially your tiny cup developments which are oh so handy in more ways than have yet to be revealed.  However, I must tell you I found myself extremely agitated by one of your products today: the TM517, medium/heavy teaspoons.  The product you thought we’d all over look, or hoped we wouldn’t notice its subtle design flaw.  But Dixie, I noticed, today I noticed.

            The TM517 is cut ever-so-slightly too deep resulting in an unreachable area of, in my case, strawberry-kiwi yogurt.  This is no good, Dixie.  Infact my entire yogurt eating experience was thrown off by the use of the TM517 and subsequently the past 15 minutes of my work day have been spent drafting this complaint to you.  I request a better spoon be developed, possibly under my supervision, and also I be compensated $3.25 for my time.

     Again, if you weren’t such a forward thinking and innovative company I wouldn’t feel the need to bring this to your attention.  Thank you.

 

Sincerely,

Mike

Oh, Dixie

I don’t know who designed this plastic spoon that I’m using right now, but whoever did clearly did not understand the fundamentals of spoon craftsmanship.  It looks like a good spoon, heck it even feels like a good spoon, but it’s ever so slightly too deep; leaving a chronic layer of yogurt that is absolutely impossible to get.  It’s unbelievably frustrating I tell you, and what was suppose to be an entirely enjoyable strawberry/kiwi experience has been dashed by a millimeter of neglect in this disposable spoon’s design.

            In fact, I am so grieved (read also: bored) by this spoon that I have just gone to our break room to locate the box where I found this misshapen utensil.  Dixie makes this spoon, this black medium/heavy teaspoon product code: TM517. Dixie.  A reputable company we all thought, but we were wrong…oh so wrong.  Perhaps they were tested by someone with abnormally flexible lips, or perhaps….they weren’t tested at all.  Would it be going to far to let this company know my frustration with their TM517’s?  No.  I have to let them know, in good conscious I cannot let these spoons continue.

 

Updates to follow.

Isaiah 45:18-19 (ish)

I stumbled on this verse the other day, and I really love it.  Especially the part about not seeking him in vain.

 

He Says:

“I am the Lord, And there is no other.

I have not spoken in secret,

from somewhere in the Land of Darkness;

I have not said to Jacob’s Descendants,

‘Seek me in Vain’

I, The Lord, speak the truth;

I declare what is right”  

Anyways, I never liked sunday school

The problem with Sunday school, if you really want to know, is that it teaches us at a very influential age that following Jesus is fun, colorful, and likely to involve songs and games.  We learn about how awful people’s lives are who are in the “World” and how wonderful life is going to be if we just do the things Jesus tells us to do.  And it’s not that I think Sunday school is intentionally lying to kids, it’s just that kids aren’t always too bright and if you have to break down the Christian message it makes sense to focus on the fun things; kids love fun.

            But I can’t help but wonder if these simplistic and optimistically biased views of Christianity affect our adult understanding of what it means to follow Christ.  For example, we assume that if we are experiencing anxiety, depression, or fear that we are somehow missing out on what God has for us; that we are clearly out of his will.  Which is quite frustrating if you’re in the middle of something like that, truly seeking God, and getting….nothing.  And you realize that following Christ is really nothing like what people told you it would be, that your life is not noticeably better than all those “worldly” people who seem to be quite content and peaceful, actually.

            And its times like that when I feel like it’s all kind of been a lie.  This whole Christianity thing we’ve been taught.  Sometimes it feels so capitalistic, so cost/benefit analysis.  I follow God and I get: peace, happiness, love, smiles.  Sign me up, sounds good, I’ll believe in that.  Hell, I’d believe in anything for that.  And the truth is that Christianity does not hold the market on peace, happiness, and smiles.  I don’t think I’m being overly post-modern to say that people of many religions exceed in these qualities.  There’s a reason that Buddhism resonates with over 350 million people.

            All this to say: I don’t like the idea of believing in something based on what I can get out of it.  I could become Mormon so I could get a job in Utah. I could become Buddhist so I could have a cool conversation with Madonna someday.  But I’ve looked into those things a bit, I’ve read through the book of Mormon, those things aren’t true.  And maybe that’s why life isn’t handed to us on a silver platter, that’s why sunday school was wrong.  Because I bet God wouldn’t feel too honored by people who follow him because they can get something cool out of it.  I bet he wants people who follow him because they know he is real, even in the midst of absolute mess, even if he doesn’t make things better.